God's awake at 3am, and so am I!

Another one of those nights where my mind just doesn't want to shut off! I drank my tea, read my book, even shed a few healthful tears as I related to what I was reading. I said my prayers and got into my cozy bed feeling the warmth and loving tenderness of a compassionate God all over me!
Still, sleep alludes me as those "loose ends," keep finding their way to the front of my memories. Things I haven't gotten past, people I haven't entirely forgiven, or things I'm still wondering about my future. I finally realized though that all these loose ends are attached to one common thread...my heart!
Isn't that always what God is asking for, our hearts? And isn't that always the one thing we have the most trouble giving to Him in fullness?

"The Lord our God be with us, as he was with our fathers. May he not leave us or forsake us, that he may incline our hearts to him, to walk in all his ways and to keep his commandments, his statutes, and his rules, which he commanded our fathers." - 1 Kings 8:57-58

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith" - Ephesians 3:14-17 (read the whole thing though, verses 14-21...there's a lot of powerful reasons why Christ wants to dwell in our hearts!)

I think of prayers that many Christians fervently pray, for God to cleanse them, to purify them, to renew their minds and align their hearts, and to forever change them. I can't count how many times I've asked God to have His way in my heart and to change me from the inside out so that I may be more like Christ.

What I heard very profoundly tonight was this: "Let your heart be changed!"

Maybe that doesn't have as much of an impact on you as it is having on me, or perhaps it does! Either way, the key word here, isn't "heart" or "changed"...it's LET! Let as in, allow, release, yield etc.

In my life, I have learned to recognize one particular occurrence that happens in my heart that is sure evidence to me that God is present and that He is doing a work in me. It's not a vision, or a feeling, not a voice or even a whisper. It's...a softening! That's the best way I can put it. The moments in my life when I feel most touched by God are the times when He is softening my heart.

We all know the phrase, "He is the potter, I am the clay," but I've taken a pottery class or two (definitely don't have a knack for it!), and even though I wasn't a master on the potter's wheel, I knew one thing...you don't use hard clay to make pots! It seems like I may be preaching to the choir about letting our hearts be pliable to God, but I also feel that if we truly understood the point of that message we wouldn't need to hear it as often...but we do need to hear it! At least I know I do...until I have mastered being soft, I need to continually be reminded that my heart is still too hard in places and I need to surrender those areas to God.

I also think of a good hug. There are stiff, awkward, or "casual" hugs for people who maybe don't know each other so well yet, or else it's one of those quick hello/goodbye type of hugs. But then there are those hugs that seriously have healing powers! Do you know what I mean? Have you ever cried in someones arms, maybe a close friend or family member when you really needed a deep secure place to cry? Or what about a hug from a loved one whom you haven't seen in a long while? I'm talking about the kind of hug where your entire body experiences a sense of instant comfort and security. The moment that you go from being completely tense, to completely relaxed and at peace...That's the kind of softness I'm talking about!

There are no safer arms than those of God Almighty! Nor a more comforting place to find peace and rest from your troubles.

"Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.
He led them by a straight way till they reached a city to dwell in.
Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of men!
For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things." - Psalm 107:9-9

"Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free." - Psalm 118:5

...Goodnight friends!

"Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts."

It is somewhat of an American custom to run ourselves at full steam until we dry out... Until there's nothing left in us but the ashes of burned up dreams.
We humans are so good at multitasking that we are able to juggle many things while accomplishing nothing at the same time! Eventually the balls will drop; sometimes one or two at a time, or sometimes all at once, and when they hit the ground that's when we look up at God and say, "this is not what I expected!"
I have often read about the children of God in the wilderness and thought, "why wouldn't they just listen? Why didn't they trust God?" or "what's wrong with them, they say all those miracles?" But today as I read through Hebrews 4, which also includes a quotation from Psalm 95, I realized that I'm not all that different from them!
When I come to my whit's end I find myself asking questions like:
God, why did that have to happen?
What did I do wrong?
God, why have I come this way?
Didn't I do everything I was supposed to?...This is not what I expected!

The children of God in the same way tested Moses' judgment as well as God; "why have you brought us this way? We didn't know it would be this hard! What about this...what about that? This is not what 'we' expected!"

Thank God...no really...THANK GOD for His mercy and His loving kindness! How many times did I forget to look back and remember all that God has done in my life? If I start to lose faith, or if my heart has become hardened and dis-trusting in God, it is because I have forgotten the immeasurable goodness He has shown me, and I have failed to remember the great works of His hands!

"when your fathers put me to the test and put me to the proof, though they had seen my work. For forty years I loathed that generation and said, 'They are a people who go astray in their hearts, and they have not known my ways.' Therefore I swore in my wrath, 'They shall not enter my rest." Psalm 95:9-11

God showed them His mightiness in plain sight, right before their eyes...and when things got hard in the wilderness they forgot His ways, as if those signs and wonders never happened at all! Hebrews 4 goes on to say that it was their disobedience that kept them from entering God's rest.

I've been finding myself in a season of Ecclesiastes, where everything is vanity, and everything is pointless. What is it that I've been striving for all these years? I don't know what it was to begin with, but I obviously still haven't found it yet! I did what everyone else told me I should do; I ran hard and juggled a busy schedule to accomplish all these goals and aspirations, but then I burned out and ran out of steam.

I did wearily reach the end of the track I was on, however...but to my dismay I looked, and there was nothing there! I wasn't listening! My limited little one track mind was focused so hard on my "goals," that I left God somewhere back at the station. And let me tell you, it's a long, weary, lonely and even bitter road to walk on the longer you wait to turn around and ask God to tow you back home!

I guess I'm on a train analogy for some reason tonight, but it illustrates my point very well. Our hearts can be as stubborn and single minded as a run-away train on a one-way track (which weighs up to 8,000 tons or more by the way!).

"Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts." Hebrews 4:7 and Psalm 95:7-8

It takes a soft, humble heart to turn back to God when you've been going the wrong way, but I've learned that you have to let go of some things in order to do that.

"Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation!
Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!
For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods.
In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also.
The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land.
Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!
For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand." Psalm 95:1-7

"For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
...Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:12,13 & 16

Alien in my fish tank!

Meet Houdini. He is a giant golden Mystery Snail that I adopted a few months ago, and he's been the star of the show in my aquarium ever since! I love to sit and watch him as he goes about his business. Though it is only a 5 gallon aquarium, he never takes the same route twice. If you think of snails as being slow, as I did, that's not entirely true! I was so impressed the first time I put Houdini in his new home, as I watched him zip around the perimeter of the tank in under a minute.
Then he did something amazing, and at first I wasn't sure if I should say, "cool!" or "creepy!" I watched as he made his way up the glass to the top of the tank, then to my surprise he let go of the glass and glided across the top through the water! His soft body was all spread out and flowing through the water, and he also had all four of his "antenna" sticking straight out. It looked like a little alien flying around in my tank, and I'd never seen a snail do that or anything like it! He still does it every now and then. Upon further observation I have discovered that the reason behind it is actually attempting to land on the top leaves of the aquarium plants! Don't worry, he doesn't eat all my plants, just the algae that grows on them :)
I feel a tiny privilege that I get to have such a unique little creature residing in my bedroom aquarium!