Dating, Dare I venture?

There have been quite a few of these kinds of posts popping up on people's blogs lately, so I thought I'd put in my own 2 cents for what it's worth.

First of all, before reading on, please note that I do not claim in any way to be an expert in this category, but I do claim that I have in fact done my homework! This post is simply for the purpose of throwing out some things God has imparted to me that have made this area of my life quite rock solid.


Now when I say rock solid, I do not mean perfect. If you've ever looked at a rock, they usually are not in any perfect shape. They are lumpy, dented, lop-sided, sometimes jagged, and sometimes smooth, but they all have one thing in common...they are solid, and able to hold up under a lot of pressure.


My views on dating are simply made up of a few rocks that God has put in my path for me to stand on. So if you stumble across one that sticks out to you while reading this, please, don't be angry with me for scraping your knee a little! Instead take it with you and place it on your own path. Then the next time you come across it just remember to step up, or else it will trip you up every time!

This Christmas season for me marks 4 years of single life, and though I certainly do not wish to do it forever, waiting on love has proven to be a most wonderful thing.

I fully agree that can drive you crazy at times, and I have spent plenty of time in the slammer of loneliness and longing. The only difference between an insane asylum and desire, in my opinion, is that the insane asylum provides the padded room and straight jacket to keep you from hurting yourself!

In these 4 years I've found that waiting really does build character, and feel that God has transformed me into a whole new woman. I look in the mirror today, and what once was a reflection of insecurity, timidness, regret, hurt, and pride; is now a reflection of confidence, radiance, love, passion, and a resemblance that is looking more and more like Jesus.

All of the credit for this goes solely to my period of waiting, not for a man, but for God to finish his work in me. When God gives me these glimpses of what he's doing in me, it's then that I realize that he's designing the wife my husband is praying for!

It's a truly amazing thing to watch God change you and mature you, because in those moments he's letting you see a little bit of how he's planning on answering someone else's prayers through you (and it's suppose to be a surprise, so don't blow it!). So now, instead of longing for a husband, I have realized my God-given longing to be some one's wife...some one's answered prayer!

God has placed a calling on my life to be a wife and a mother in a world where wives are no longer held accountable to the standards of honor and integrity before God. To be a pillar for my family while the world says it's ok for wives to be bulldozers!

By embracing this season of waiting I get to show God that I am refusing to compromise for anything less than His best for my life, but also, that I refuse to compromise myself for anything less than God's best for my future husband!

That puts a big challenge on my part to step up and become the woman my husband will need me to be. It also takes selfishness out of my prayer life, because instead of only praying for my needs to be met in a godly husband, I'm praying for God to do what He needs to do in me to fulfill the needs of my husband in a godly wife. And I'm praying for Him to do all that NOW, while I'm waiting...while I'm a wife under construction! That when my future spouse comes to pursue me, a hard hat will not be required!!

So what's so bad about "testing the waters"? What's so important about "saving" myself anyway?

Why not?

Why not dilly dally with crushes and flirting and stuff like that?

It's not really hurting anyone is it? It's just harmless fun until you find the right person, isn't it?

I'm not here to try to change anyone's opinions about this, but I think that if it really is going to be done right, then it's only going to happen once, with one person, in God's perfect timing.

During these 4yrs God has had to help me let go of some old memories of past relationships. He showed me that what I wanted in a husband was being fabricated by comparing every guy I'd ever dated. Honestly, I don't want my husband to be comparable to anyone I've ever even known! And I'm pretty sure he won't appreciate me using a measuring stick that has a bunch of other guy's names on it!

I also don't ever...EVER want to enter a dating or marriage relationship wondering what might have happened with the other guy, because I don't want there to even be an "other guy"! Yuk!

My romance reserves are locked away and guarded carefully for only one man. God is filling those reserves with love, passion, excitement, fulfillment, desire, commitment, loyalty, gifts and talents, dreams and visions, motherhood, and all kinds of treasures and they are designed and designated for ONE man!

And, He is building these things up to a climax. Like a joke that builds up to a punchline. Or a novel building up in intensity and suspense that compels you to turn the page and find out what happens next.

The climax comes at just the right time! If you tell it too soon, it ruins the whole story; if you wait too long, the reader loses interest, but when told at just the right time it brings great satisfaction. Those are the stories you remember for a lifetime! The one's you tell your kids about someday(like when they ask how you and daddy first met!). They stay with you, and you refer back to them over and over.

God wants us to live out the romance story He has already written for us.

I also think of a jar of fruit preserves when I think of the importance of waiting for romance. Once you pop the seal you have to make the most of the whole jar, or else it goes bad! If you give your spouse a jar that's been opened a time or two already, there's a good chance that what you're giving him has grown some mold! But if that seal is protected, unbroken, and saved for a special occasion, then everything inside remains well preserved. And when your spouse opens it, it will be fresh and full for him to enjoy every drop. (And you know what they say,"the way to a man's heart is through his stomach!"hehehe, I just couldn't resist:) And guess what? If you are faithful to guard the treasure God is preserving in you for your spouse, He will be faithful to make sure you get a jar too! Fully preserved, un-tampered with, and filled to the brim with satisfaction. So keep those English muffins handy!

What are your thoughts? Did I leave anything out? What else makes the waiting season worth doing well?

Waiting for God's best, in me, through me, and for me!

-Jennifer

Life's Flat Tires

Flat tires are fun! I experienced my first one yesterday, on my own car any way. I was then reminded of all the moments up to this point when I wondered what a flat tire would be like. Not that I dreamed of or wished for it to happen, rather, that is was a regular concern of mine of how it would affect my life if and when it did happen. I’ve often found myself paranoid about the idea of a flat tire, especially while driving on my stylish, yet nerve wrecking low profile racing tires and chrome rims. These came with the car upon receiving it, and though they look cool, and earn me a wide variety of compliments and envy (and guys annoyingly wanting to race me at every intersection!), they are not at all practical! They fill my heart with fear, dread, and doubt at the approach of every pump and pothole, and the low tread proves my car to prefer water skiing over traction on rainy days!
I am not a street racer, nor do I have any desire to be. Having a cute little red car with a hot spoiler on the back usually keeps me pretty content. So what do I need these racing tires for anyway? I’ve been asking this question for 2 years, and at the same time wondering why no one wants to buy them! Yes, I do realize this may be an oxymoron way of thinking!
All my questions and doubts about the trustworthiness of low profile tires have at last been put to rest! As well as my irrational fears of them been made rational!
As far as my pondering of the effects of flat tires on a human life; I now have this experience to help me with my hypothesis.
There was no loud explosion; no chunks of rubber flying through the air; no sparks bouncing off the pavement; and certainly no crashing to my tragic and untimely death! Sorry guys, no inspiration for a thriller movie there!
I have yet to find out if my driving skills could measure up to the challenging threat of a front tire blow out on the hwy. As disappointing as that is, I am at least glad to not be faced with the contrary if my skills were in fact lacking. Instead I am thankful that is was a back tire, which gave me some comfort in discovering that back tire blow outs, in this case, are not so bad. Instead of complete terror and ciaos, it was more like one tire going over the train tracks for the rest of your life! Or, at least until I pulled over.
Long story short, I made it to Les Schwab and they put on my spare for me, as that tire was beyond all help and is now RIP! Today little Suzie Que is happily getting her snow tires put on so that she no longer has to live with the embarrassment of being seen wearing a donut tire!
You probably saw this coming, but there is also a spiritual application to this story.
During this experience, there were many moments when I found myself getting very stressed out. There were times when I wanted to scream, times I wanted to cry…and I cried if I wanted to! And there were times when I really started to lose heart.
It was the moment this morning that really got to me; the moment I was rolling the last snow tire to be loaded into my car. Why was I crying? Why was this event upsetting me so much? Sure, it’s inconvenient, and sure I’m late for work, but no one was dying! These things happen…flat tires happen, so you put a new tire on and move on with your life; what’s the big deal?
Then I realized that the Lord was speaking to me. He was ministering to my heart.
In the midst this event, it wasn’t the car I was crying over. What was getting to me was that the state of my car was a direct reflection of the state of my life in very significant areas. My life had a flat tire! I was crying because that flat tire is my family, and it is a tire I can’t fix!
I’m reminded of Bo’s comment on Whitney’s blog about chess. She was saying how funny it would be if every time we moved our piece they fought us over it! It was a brilliant illustration of how often we fight God and fret over where he places us in certain seasons.
In this case, what about flat tires that refuse to let anyone fix them? Loved ones in our lives who insist that they are fine; when it is obvious to everyone else that their hopes of getting anywhere are completely deflated. All they have to do is pull over and let someone help them!
There is no Les Schwab for me to take this flat tire to! Yet, I take comfort in this fact: I called it in to the expert, and He is running out to meet my family where they are. As soon as they are willing to pull over and ask for His help, He will be there to give them a whole new set of tires that will never go flat!
I’ve learned that you cannot hope in your family’s willingness to surrender to Christ, or you will continue to lose heart over and over, because their flat tires cannot get them to that place. What you must hope in is God’s faithfulness to be there when they’re finally ready stop and open their doors to see the truth.
I took my car to the experts at Les Schwab, and I know it’s getting fixed because that’s what they do…I take my cares and worries to the Lord, the expert, and I know they’re being answered, because that’s what He does!

Fate of our Nation

I have to admit in these times I've been afraid of America's fate. Is God about to expose the wickedness that has been there all along, festering beneath the surface? Will I live to see the Nation destroy its-self with "liberty"!

How does it seem that ignorance is prevailing in every direction? Why are people willing to trade a human life for a few tax breaks? Why are they so easily deceived when the facts are in plain view?

They go out of their way to call us Christians bigots at the expense of their own integrity.

Love covers a multitude of sin. Is our "right" to be religeously offended clouding out our ability to cover a multitude of sins with the Love of Christ?

Our world is headed for distruction. We can't change it, and we were never asked to change it! God isn't focused on the sin, he knows it's there, he's looking for his kids! Jesus Christ has saved them by his blood, and he is sending us out to get them. He took our punishment upon himself and redeemed us, all he is asking is for us to run through a few fires for our brothers and sisters.

Changing the world to me doesn't mean making it a better place! It cannot be made better because it is condemned by God; marked for annihilation! Changing the world means going out and grabbing as many people as I can on my way out of this place!

Yes, we can make a difference, but we must be careful to ensure that our intension for making a difference is clearly based on creating pathways for Christ in us to intersect with a dying soul.

Everyday we pass them. Everyday we walk by hundreds of people without even contemplating sharing Christ with them. I am preaching straight to myself on this.

In battle terms, they are the ones wounded on the ground. You are the one with the sword that can stop the enemy from finishing them off!

There was a time in my life when the wounds of this life had taken their toll on me. A time when I was about to be finished off by the weight of the enemy's schemes. My hope was gone, and I honestly didn't believe anyone would know or care that I was gone. But God sent someone into my life to stop the final blow! Someone who showed me that they cared whether I lived or died.

So now, how many finally blows have I or have I not stopped? What about you? How many times have you thought, "well, someone else will share Christ with that person." What if no one else gets the chance? What if the window for that person to receive Christ was as small as the time it took for you to pass them on the street?